Knitting gives you WIIIINGS! And other stories.

So, I've had tonsilitis for the past week, and it has sucked much balls. Or tonsils, more to the point. Blergh. As I said on my Facebook status, I was feeling, at one point, like I'd been run over by a bus, a steam roller and a hoard of screaming Lady Gaga fans all at once. Thankfully, I seem to be improving. I am craving kebabs something rotten, so I take that to be a good sign.

Anyway. Being sick and cooped up inside for six days in a row (apart from going to see the doctor to get drugs, and nipping out to the cafe around the corner for iced coffee- which I swear has magical, medicinal properties) does have its benefits, in that one actually has time to craft.  In between much consumptive coughing, feverish tossing and turning, gulping down acidophilus yoghurt, watching the The Crucible and getting horrible vivid nightmares about witch hunts and hangings, and scratching myself half to death thanks to the lovely side effects of my antibiotics, I actually managed to get a fair bit of crafting done. For I am a machiiiiine.

First off, as the title of this post may suggest, I am knitting wings. Yup, seriously. Knitty, it would appear, has everything- even a pattern for knitted angel/fairy wings.  (And a pattern for a knitted umbrella, but that's another post). Wish I'd thought of it!

Why wings, you ask? Me, I am a great lover of Baz Luhrman's Red Curtain Trilogy. I have copped much flack from my more "cinematically astute" friends over the years, by my love and devotion for Moulin Rouge! remains firmly intact. I've been planning a Baz Luhrman-themed birthday bash for the past couple of years...however, due to yucky personal circumstances last year, and me just not being effing bothered the year before, it hasn't happened yet.

Early this year, as luck would have it, I discovered the angel wings while surreptitiously browsing on Knitty at work.  Henceforth, I decided it was high time I hosted said Baz Luhrman bash, that my upcoming 26th (ugh) would be just the occasion, and that I'd go as Claire Danes' Juliet and knit my wings.  Like this:

Yes, I am aware that Claire's wings have that "unfurled" look, whereas the ones on Knitty sort of droop downwards. Meh. In spite of that, I've made a decent start on my wings, and they're not looking too shabby. Only problem is, I'm using nasty Panda acrylic, which I swear makes creaking sounds when I knit, and makes me want to douse myself in rehydrating hand cream after every row. I need to get these done by the 16th of October...but I'm not going to get all that far if I keep throwing them down in disgust, and picking up one of my thousands of pure merino projects. Which don't have the quite the urgency, but are SO MUCH NICER on my poor hands. And just...feel nicer full stop.

Oh well. Here's a wing in progress:

Lovely, innit? In other awesome crafting-related news, I taught Matt to knit! He is, unfortunately, back on the dreaded ciggies, after having given up for almost a year, and he asked me to teach him so he'll have something to take his mind off things when he decides to quit again.  Good thinkin'. I got him started on a practice swatch-y thing on Monday night...and he is good. Ever the proud girlfriend, and much to his mild chagrin, I didn't hesitate to crank out the camera and record his "first steps!

                                                         Srs bsns!

                                 Crafty men are good with their hands, yes?! ;)

He's planning to progress to a scarf, so I'll probably get him his own yarn and needles when I next go shopping.  He seems to enjoying it so far, and hopes to knit himself a sweater when he "gets good enough." Which is grand, considering I'm under strict instruction from the Knitting Gods to not even think about knitting him a jumper until I've got the ring. I'm not usually the superstitious type, but that's one knitting taboo I don't want to mess with.  As I've no idea when he will be presenting the ring...he can take care of that one himself for now. ;P

                                   My baby's first garter stitch swatch! So proud...*tear*

Speaking of jumpers, my first sweater vest continues to grow. Am currently working on the back, and have about four, maybe five, inches to go before I need to cast off for the shoulder straps. I did some more work on it while I've been sick, including while waiting at the doctor's office, and while tucked up in bed on Friday, practically tripping-out with the fever.  And, I actually managed about an inch before deciding that a nap was probably a good idea. Mindless, two-by-two ribbed projects are good for sickly knitting, it would seem!

Here's a gratuitous progress shot. Could be the last for a while, as it may well be going into hibernation soon, thanks to Christmas knitting looming ominously on the horizon.

And finally! Being sick does actually provide sufficient time for the ADD knitter to actually get back to those projects which she's started with all the best of intentions...but have gotten cast (haw haw) aside and kind of "lost" in amongst all the hubbub of knitting her first garment, and trying to get about a bazillion presents done at the same time, for she is generous to a fault. Yup, we've all got 'em.

One such project of mine is this pretty wee thing, also from Laura Irwin's Boutique Knits, which I cast on while I was off with a bad cold (yup, my immune system does not exist) back in August. I got the band all finished...and then didn't touch it again for several weeks, leaving its beautiful turquoise 20s-style ruffled-ness languishing on top of the ironing board. This week, I somehow managed, with the tonsilitis still throwing a party in my bloodstream, to pin-block the band, sew the ends together, weave in the stray yarn ends, pick up 100 stitches and get a good start knitting the body over the space of about 48 hours.

Not a bad effort, considering I was doing all that in a wonderful fog of bacteria and snot. Have a photo:

Hmmm. I was thinking the other day how excited I was to have graduated from knitted accessories to garments, and was even comparing it to progressing into long-term, steady relationships after years of quick and dirty flings. However, in my case, the "quick and dirty flings", like the above hat and the Spirogyra I've been working on since June, seem to get dragged out far longer than good ole fashioned short n' steamy tryst should really need to. Like the knitting equivalent of a couple who keep meeting for drunken sex, long after they've both decided it's probably not going to work out, so let's leave it at that.

Then, I realised, oh wait, it's because I'm always knitting more than one thing at once. That is why things never get finished: I'm sleeping around (knitting around?), or so to speak! I just...give some of my partners more attention than others. ;P And...anyone who knows me will figure out this is a really not an apt analogy I'm using...

Anyway, it's back to the office for me tomorrow. Less time for knitting, of course, but I am nonetheless thrilled to be tonsiltis-free and back into the world! As a celebration, I shall be taking a stroll down Cuba Street at lunchtime, and buying yarn. And kebabs.

Here comes the obsessive not-quite bride...

It can be said that I am something of a wedding affecianado.

It started when I was a young grasshopper of about six or seven, pouring over my parents' wedding album, gazing wistfully at my Mum, in her long white princess gown with red flowes along the hem (definitely not my preferred style of wedding garb these days, but hey), permed hair and clunky late-70s glasses; and my Dad with his Beatle haircut, snazzy suit and boyish grin. Magical. Inspired, I asked my Grandma if she'd please make my wedding dress. To which she laughed, and suggested that it may be a wee bit too early to be thinking about that, darling. Hmpf.

With age, even after the demise of my parents' marriage (and the demise of my Dad's second marriage as well, I might add!), it's only gotten worse. I've had a fair clutch of good friends get married over the past few years and, with each wedding, I come home with my head swimming with ideas for my own Future Mythical Wedding, as it's now officially been coined.  Even before I landed me a feller, I knew that I'd be wearing a green gown, inspired by Keira Knightley's dress in *that* scene in Atonement, would walk down the aisle to "All I Want Is You" by U2 (shuddup, haters!) and would have the first dance to none other than "Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns n' Roses. I'd even had a pretty fair idea of who my bridesmaids would be, and what I'd be saying in my speech. And now that I do have a boyfriend? I've gone and written out a guest list, and asked my baby brother if he'd give me away. Oh dear....

Anyway. This is a craft blog, so let's talk crafts. A few years back, I was a bridesmaid for a close friend who, being a keen jewelry-maker, made all the bouquets and the men's and families' button holes from beads and wire. Which were gorgeous and very definitely *her*.  I even got to help out with the family buttonholes! Here's me with my bridesmaid's bouquet below:

Despite being sans boyfriend and no closer to my own wedding, I went away with the steely determination to make all my Future Mythical Bouquets and Buttonholes by hand.  Not having started knitting then, I wasn't sure how exactly I'd be making them (paper? Felt? Other fabric? Buttons?), but I would be making my own flowers, and that was that.

I mean, geez, you get people spending literally thousands on fresh flowers- you tell a florist you're getting married, and three extra zeroes get magically added to the price tag. And, honestly? I'm not really a fresh flowers kinda gal. I'm probably not able to count one on hand the number of times DB has bought me flowers in the two-and-a-bit years we've been together. And, beautiful though they are, fresh flowers tend to die. Which makes me sad. Handmade flowers, in most cases,  last a bit longer and you can have them as a keepsake of the day, long after the hangovers have cleared, the credit card bills are all nicely folded away (hah!) and you've long outgrown your dress- which I'm also certain will be true in my case!- and it's gathering dust at the back of the wardrobe.

I got yet another flash of inspiration for hand-crafted flowers came recently, when my beautiful and super-crafty friend Alex knitted all the flowers for her wedding- roses for her and her bridesmaids and tulips for the blokes and family members, all in autumnal colours.  I, along with a couple of other close knitty friends, helped her out with the knitted roses, which ended up being my first ever successful felted project!

As imitation is certainly the most sincere form of flattery, I swiped her idea and added knitted flowers to my expanding mental wedding checklist. I decided that if, by God's good grace, I do end up getting marriage'd, I'd go for a combination of knitted roses and lilies, like these ones on Knitty. As it turns out, lilies are quite significant for DB and I.  He recently bought us a peace lily after we'd had a massive disagreement, as a symbol of peace and calm in our relationship and something we can look after together. And, well, I guess as a reminder to look after and nurture us at the same time.

AND THEN. As if I didn't need any more ideas, I have recently, courtesy of Alex and Ellen, another beautiful and crafty friend, discovered Offbeat Bride. As the name suggests, it is a site devoted to weddings which are more quirky and indivdual, and don't adhere necessarily to what's often expected of your average wedding- ie white dress, long veil, perfectly matched wedding party, church ceremony, horifically expensive fresh flowers (as mentioned before), bouquet toss, cake cutting photos etc.

Not, of course, that there's anything wrong with a traditional wedding. But, this site in particular showcases weddings which definitely veer away from tradition...and, more importantly, are deeply personalised and are full of little touches which encapsulate the couple in question. Alex and her hubby Scott, for example, talk about their totally awesome and totally *them* wedding (including their knitted flowers) here.

One awesome feature of Offbeat Bride is its articles devoted to Do-It-Yourself ideas for your wedding. A virtual treasure treasure trove for us crafty sorts, who live for showering the world in handmade treats- and who'd rather put their own individual stamp on the proceedings, rather than be charged an arm, leg and a couple of kidneys to hire the experts.  Par exemple, they do tutorials on making your own birdcage veil:

                                        

They show you how to make your own top-hat fascinators, which are awesome and totally Moulin Rouge:

AND, if it couldn't get any better, they give you step-by-step instructions on how to do your own treasure chest centerpieces. For the pirate-themed weddings, o'course.

Made of win, are they not? But that ain't all folks. What really caught my eye, and got me shrieking like a groupie and had me emailing my mate Ellen (who I swear is more excited about my Future Mythical Wedding than I am!) in fits of pure girlish glee, Gilbert and Sullivan-styles, were these:

Yup, brooch bouquets. Quite simply delightful. And, yes, there's even a tutorial on how to make them. Seems easy enough- scrounge a whole bunch of brooches or clip-on earrings from a variety of sources (the bottom of your childhood "treasure" box, your Mum's or grandma's dresser drawer, Op-shops, market stalls, Trademe etc), some floral wire (from garden shops, I guess), something foamy to go over the stem, and some ribbons or organza to wrap it all in...and voila!

As Ellen even pointed out, it would be the perfect bridal shower/hen party/kitchen tea activity- getting each friend to donate a brooch or two, and getting everyone to help assemble the bouquets, wire and organza and all, before the alcohol set in! Perfect! Pardon me while I bask in the warm afterglow of multiple craftgasms.

So yes. If I was to put all my ideas together, I'd end up with bouquets made up of knitted roses, knitted lilies, and flower brooches and earrings. Maybe I could even use some beads or fake pearls for gypsophila, like in this bouquet, so we've got even more crafts covered. Could be hideous; could be totally awesome and fabulous and brilliant. But, because I am a craft geek extraordinaire, I cannot wait to get the sparkler on my finger so I've actually got an excuse to stop oggling all the gorgeous pics on the internet, and get started on it all! Well, that and I'd really like to be married to DB, of course. ;)

Come to think of it, we'll have more than bouquets and buttonholes to think about it. Chances are, I'll end up wanting to craft my fascinator/veil and other hairpieces, shawls for my bridesmaids and I, centerpieces, the cake topper (like this one!)...I was even planning on maybe doing knitted cupcakes as favours for our guests, like the ones in I've got in my banner photo. Dude. Luckily, I have a brilliant crack team of knitty girlfriends to help out...

Yeah. All this planning and no rock probably isn't so healthy, huh? ;)

Look, Mum! Clothes!

Ever the ADD knitter, I am currently working on no less than six projects. This is normal.  Sometimes, it gets to the point where I'm forced to flip a coin, a la Two-Face, to decide which project I'll be working on on any particular day.


At the moment, however, it's an easy choice- my first proper fully-fledged item of clothing, that isn't a hat, pair of fingerless gloves, or some variety of scarf. This, my friends, is a big deal. And, it's only taken almost three years, four blankets, 10 baby hats, 25 adult hats, 2 headbands, 17 pairs of hand/arm warmers, 1 pair of leg warmers, 6 scarves, 2 shawls, 5 pairs of booties, 1 pair of slippers, 4 stuffed toys, 2 hottie covers, 2 iPod socks, 3 bunches of roses, 1 set of cupcakes, 1 mobile and a fair bit of graffiti to get to this point.


As a bit of background, there were two things that, at the start of my knitting odyssey, I swore black-and-blue I'd never knit- socks and jumpers. Socks...I'll get onto that some other time. But knitted jumpers? Was never really that keen on them, to be honest. 


For one thing...I think I'm traumatised by my past. I went to an all-girls private school from age seven to age 18, where my tubby, awkward self was stuffed into many a scratchy, ill-fitting regulation jumper, each a more grotesque green than the first. An assault on the eye indeed. For another, I have ridiculously large boobs. Just sayin'. Me, I adhere firmly to Trinny and Susannah's rules- if you've anything more than your basic B-cup, anything up around the neck is strictly verboten. Which means a large swag of the sweaters on Ravelry, even the ever-popular Owls and the stupidly pretty Paper Dolls are out. As are a lot of cardigan patterns, as cardis of the button-down variety usually add about 80 years to my age, and make me feel truly frumptastic. 


HOWEVER. While browsing on Ravelry, I managed to unearth a decent handful of sweater patterns that may actually look good on me! This racy little number on Knitty, for example. (Off-the-shoulder numbers work well for me- the eye gets drawn towards my neckline/shoulders, and away from The Girls. Technically). And this sweater by the scrumptious Ysolda Teague, with its lower neckline and waist-shaping. And this wrap-around cardi, also by Ysolda, which should go over my curvy lumpiness just fine.  All hope for my foray into jumper making did not seem to be lost.


AND THEN, while flicking through Laura Irwin's Boutique Knits, I discovered this gorgeous thing:

Love at first sight. My perfect match. Romeo and Juliet, without all the teen angst; Brangelina, without the rainbow children; Jack and Rose, without the iced water. You get the idea. I had to have it. It wasn't long before I skipped into my local watering hole and got my yarn of choice. I picked Zealana Kauri Fingering, a heavenly blend of New Zealand merino, possum and silk, in the Blue Awa colourway. Which I figured was sufficient to steer me away from my uniform of civil service black and give my eyes a bit of zing, while still being dark enough to have that magic slimming effect. Which, let's face it, I can always benefit from.


Naturally, I couldn't wait to get started. But first, I needed to get gauge. For this task, I enlisted the help of my clever mother, a knitter of 40-plus years, who somehow managed to summon enough patience and goodwill to teach me to knit, both as as child and adult. This took a while, given that Mum actually has a grown-up manager's job, and doesn't have near as much time to slack off and knit as yours truly. ;) Once we'd gotten gauge out of the way (really should learn how to do that myself...), it was time to actually sit down and knit the thing. Fabulous, thunk I. Soon I shall have a sweater vest, and it will be pretty, and I will be the envy of knitters far and wide!


Uh, soon, you say? Forget it. I had planned to sit down and start on the actual knitting over Queen's Birthday weekend (at the beginning of June, for the offshore folk). Which I did. And, it would have gone well, had I not kept having to cast on 5 times in a row, after not having left a long enough tail for all the stitches (256 stitches, people!). Or if the yarn hadn't kept breaking on me. Or kept getting twisted. Or if I hadn't kept somehow screwing up the ribbing, and having to start again. *sigh* A simple two-by-two rib, and I completely ballsed up. Although, for that, I blame the fact that I was knitting while watching Before Sunset on DVD. And those movies whack me in the guts every sodding time.


So...I unravelled it, wound up my yarn, chucked my 80 cm 3.5 mm circular in the ugly pink snakeskin handbag where I keep all my circs, and swore I'd come back to it "eventually". In the meantime, I soldiered on and continued under the mantle of St Erin, Patron Saint of Winter Woolies and People Who Just Cain't Say No, punching out baby knits and birthday hats, chucking them them left and right, like a lolly scramble. And, "eventually"? Didn't show up.


Until a couple of weeks ago (August 21, to be exact). I was at home on a Saturday night, feeling lousy with this weird flu-like thing, and I decided enough was enough. I spent too long on Ravelry, oggling all the pretty jumpers, and wishing my humble hand-warmers got that many ooohs and aaaahs. I'd spent too long sneaking onto Knitty at work, and adding screeds of delicious cardis, shrugs and Lizzie Bennett-style tunic thingies to my queue, and wishing for redundancy. And, I really have spent too much time on my dear friend Alex's Ravelry page eye-ing up this stunner:

Yup, the same Alex who, up until a couple of years ago, had no interest in knitting whatsoever. She has, needless to say, far surpassed me in terms of knitting skills. So, honestly? I thought it was about time I stepped up to the plate and cranked out a stunner of my own. So...while I was home sick that Saturday, while watching The Science Of Sleep (which was great, but not quite as soul-destroying as the aforementioned movies), I dragged out my blue Zealana and 3.5 and 4 mm circs and started again. And here, my lovelies, is the two-week progress shot:

Pretty neat, huh? ;)


I cast off on the "waistband" part while waiting for Darling Boyfriend to finish work, and am now ready to start on the back. Not entirely sure how long it will take me to blitz through 30 cm of two-by-two ribbing on size 4s, when I've got two presents to finish (one of which is a birthday present that's about three months overdue...), one September birthday present and one baby toy to start, and Christmas knitting for the parents and in-laws to think about. But...we'll see. So far, it's proving itself to be brilliant TV, travel and social knitting...and I even managed to whack out a fair chunk during a slightly drunken viewing of Secretary with DB and others. Good times.


Anyway. I have stuck my big toe into the big scary pool of knitted clothing, and I am proud. Here's hoping, after all this build up, that it actually fits and looks halfway decent. Now you mention it...it may not have been the wisest idea to start knitting myself a vest while trying to lose weight. However, at the rate I'm going, I'm not exactly expecting to drop three dress sizes over night. So...I think we'll be fine. ;)


To be continued....